(+1 rating, 1 votes)Dear passengers.
I’m a deckhand, a lowly swab. When I say that the Captain has ordered me to close the foredeck because it’s foggy and we might run into something bigger than us, please don’t shout at me. I’m not ruining your vacation; there’s nothing to see out there anyway. It’s FOGGY. Everything is gray and damp. You can see the gray and damp from inside the boat, and you’re at much less risk for crushing rending death.
Disaffectedly yours,
Deckhand Hats
(No Ratings Yet)I refuse to drive in New Jersey anymore. In what other state do directions to the nearest Target involve getting on and off two highways? I tried to drive my 13 year old cousin to the store to buy flip flops today, and after 45 minutes of wrong turns, ended up accidentally back at my parent’s place, which was fine with me. Then my mom drove us both to Target instead. I hate driving in New Jersey!
(No Ratings Yet)I’m really annoyed that Craigslist only lets you post a room for rent, a sublet, or an apartment IF YOU OWN THE BUILDING. What if you’re just a guy trying to get someone to take his lease?
(No Ratings Yet)Why is Central PA the worst place ever to hold a wedding? The booze needs to stop at 9:30pm, and the music has to stop at 10:00pm. Is this normal? Will my guests hate me?
(No Ratings Yet)No more sirens on Caton Avenue while Ruby is napping, please. I know lives are at stake, but DON’T WAKE THE BABY.
(+1 rating, 1 votes)Peeing outside . . . it’s part of what men do. I am at my in-laws house, where there are two daughters and a father who, apparently, never pees outside. I was in the backyard taking down laundry because the drier is broken, and I decided to utilize the bushes. Then my wife came out and started screaming at me that I was crazy and disgusting. I laughed her off and was just about to get a stream going when my mother-in-law came ambling out and shrieked that I was peeing on her house (not true). My wife started hitting me and threatening divorce, and she stole my fedora and stomped on it. Finally, I was able to get my spritz on, but Sarah won’t talk to me anymore. Just wait until I get her in the woods . . .
There’s something primal about peeing outside. I love it. My parents accepted it as long as I went in the oleanders and not, say, their bedroom wall.
Hilarious!! We have two sons, so it’s unusual for us to be in the backyard and somebody is NOT peeing!!
(+1 rating, 1 votes)The post it button isn’t working, and I really want to complain about my dryer.
There, it worked. My dryer dries my clothes, but it also makes my apartment very hot. Thank you very much.
(+1 rating, 1 votes)The morons in my group who haven’t logged on in three weeks. I had better get an A in this class and they had better fail. Morons.
(+1 rating, 1 votes)Skank 13 year old girls. WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS??????!?!
(+1 rating, 1 votes)The training for tim horton’s employees must include a section that goes over how to regress to mental state not seen in humans since fire was groundbreaking when you hear the statement, “no cheese”.
(+1 rating, 1 votes)Why do expensive stores sell clothes that aren’t colorfast? You never have this trouble with cheap stuff just the name brands. You have to hand wash them in cold water! Who has time for that. Otherwise you end up with pink underwear and my husband really hates pink undies.
(No Ratings Yet)Insurance! In New York it’s really f%$*#$ing expensive but the hospital only plans have to take you. In New Orleans it’s pretty cheap but if you have any “pre-existing conditions” meaning you are alive and over the age of twelve, they don’t have to take you. If you go more than 63 days without insurance no one has to cover your pre-existing conditions. But since no one seems to have to cover them anyway, I don’t really get the difference.
Allroseallday 5:57 pm on July 27, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Lindsay, where are you getting married? I got married in State College last fall & there weren’t any rules like that at the NLI. Great food, too. Good luck!