Last night I found a small lizard running across our kitchen floor.
Lizards eat cockroaches.
I am terrified of cockroaches.
My fiancee is terrified of lizards.
I say they’re super cute and they look like tiny little puppies.
She says they’re slimy, slithery, and gross. She is not a “dog person”.
Three years ago I proclaimed jihad on cockroaches.
She just put a jihad on lizards.

In a few months we are adopting my brother’s puppy, who is super cute. Cute like a lizard.