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Tips and Ideas
How to write a good complaint on Complainy Pants
- Keep it short: If you can’t keep it short, then you have a long-winded rant, not a complaint. You know how you ignore that crazy woman who smells of urine and sleeps under a tarp downtown screaming in German gibberish? That’s how people will treat a long complaint. Don’t keep it too short, however. Write in complete sentences and tell a little story. Aim for 100 words or more!
- Keep it simple: Stick to one experience, topic, or item in your complaint. You can, of course, complain about multiple aspects of your exploding brand-new HDTV that you bought without a warranty or the $78 course of live snails you ordered by mistake at a nasty restaurant, but don’t blame Barack Obama for the state of the world in the same paragraph.
- Categorize your complaint appropriately.
- Choose appropriate tags for your complaint. That way, people can find it.
- Don’t be mean: Or, go ahead and be mean but do it for a good reason.
- Read top-rated complaints and emulate their style.
- Don’t be such a schmuck!
Try one of these forms
Try one of these forms and be sure to tag your post accordingly. i.e. If you make a haiku, tag you post “haiku.”
- Haiku:
Japanese poem
Composed of five, seven, and
Five syllables, each. - Limmerick: a five-line poem with a strict form (AABBA).
- “I am so pissed of right now . . .”
- “I feel _____ when ______ . . .”
- “I never thought that _______ but . . . “
- Accents: Try complaining in a British accent, a French accent, etc.
- Animals: Try complaining in the voice of a dog, cat, cow, or snow leopard